I imagine lots of unnaturally colored drinks with names that end in "tini", table-top dancing, bridge and tunnel suitors circling like hyenas trying to pick off the weak and crippled of the herd, and of course, baby-doll pajamas.  Not necessarily in that order.

This is what I think of (for me) when I hear "Girlfriend Getaways": 

We don't care. Sorry, guys, we love you. But we just do not care whether or not you liked the "Sex & the City" movie. It's not for you.

(Ed note: this section is typically reserved for Guys' Perspectives on Girlfriend Getaways, which we find funny and are supposed to be tongue-in-cheek. The male response to the "Sex & the City" movie has been less tongue-in-cheek.)

"Sex & the City" was the box office winner this weekend, beating out the Indiana Jones film (which I definitely want to see, just not as badly). This is testament to the droves of women, worldwide, who relate to Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha in one way or another.

It is insane to me that men are finding it necessary to offer their two-cents on the phenomenon.

Counterpunch offers their male perspective on it.

We don't care.

Jake Coyle pats himself on the back for being "confident enough" to brave the "chick flick".

Congratulations.

Kyle Shamorian of Helium quips:

"First of all, its emphasis on materialism is ridiculous..."

It's a movie.  Relax.  You think all those toys Batman has are purchased at Target?

Do you know what we think is ridiculous?

1. Car chase scenes that last longer than 10 seconds.
   
2. Machine-gun annihilation sequences that go on and on and on.
   
3. Steven Seagal.

And after a male reviewer for the UK Times Online sniffed and scoffed at the film, an insightful comment from one reader says:

"Why oh why are there males reviewing this movie. It's getting a little boring reading reviews by patronising oh so blah male reviewers who just dont get it. Also the movie is entertainment, an escape from today's 'meaner' times.

Tash, Adelaide, Australia"

This is not your typical "chick flick". It is an extension of the 6-season HBO series. If you didn't watch and love the series, you probably will not appreciate the movie. Don't kill it for those of us who DID watch and love the series. Go play with your G.I. Joe dolls action figures.

Read the sign on our playhouse: KEEP OUT!

I just totally envision a lot of giggling, mimosas & manicures when you say 'girlfriend getaway'.

The first thing I think of is a nice luffa [sic] scrub, passion parties, wine tasting and aroma therapy-inspired popuri [sic] (I had to google how you spell popuri).

17 Quotes I’d Expect to Hear During a Girls’ Vacation

By Tom Hagy

1. Does my butt look big in these pants?  Hold on.  Who gives a crap! - Bridget
2. Hey, I bought a copy of Lifetime's 24-Hour Chick Flick Marathon! - Mandy
3. To conserve energy, I suggest we shower in pairs...or trios!  Just 'cause we're pretty , doesn't mean we can't be green! - Heather
4. It's hot in here.  Would anyone mind if I just wore socks? - Trish
5. It's cold in here.  Would anyone mind if I just wore socks? - Trish
6. Thank God someone thought to bring coasters. - Jennifer
7. Don't tell me we're out of Chardonnay!  Oh, here's another case! - Tiffany
8. I don't care what it is.  If it's pink and fizzy and gets me drunk, I will drink it.  Extra points for a naughty name. - Carrie
9. Wow, I don't think anyone has stared at my boobs for that past 24 hours.  I always wondered what that would be like. - Sharon
10. At last.  I don't have to pretend to be disgusted by porn. - Cynthia
11. I have always felt like we were sisters.- Shauna
12. Would you mind brushing my hair? - Diane
13. Would you rub sunscreen on my back?  Lower please.- Leah
14. I have never sunbathed nude before!  This isso free.  My God, I think I am crying. - Stephanie
15. Man, I really miss my husband, boyfriend and the kids, of course.  Well, that's not all a lie! - Alexis
16. That's funny.  I never thought strip poker was such a bonding exercise. - Brooke
17. Yes!  Let's have the drapes wide open while we try on each other's clothes and feed each other chilled kiwi slices! - Tina

Bonus Quote!  *My gosh.  This place is neater than when they got here.  But what a lame tip. - Silvia, Housekeeping Associate.

1) Flight gets in, nice lunch with a glass of wine
2) Girls head to the spa, mani/pedi, massage
3) Glass of wine at a sidewalk cafe, then doll up
4) Nice girls dinner, more wine
5) Cocktails, Dancing, Cocktails
6) Kerry and Gretchen accept bribe for venue tip
7) My friends and I arrive at venue
8) More dancing, more drinks
9) Pillow fights

(Ed note:  Ted really enjoys pretending he is this guy.  He wanted me to use it for the main photo.  I said 'no'.  The picture makes me want to boil my eyeballs.)

When I first heard about "Girlfriend Getaways," I thought:  "Honey, your hot friend Samantha isn't going too, is she?  Because if she's around and you aren't…"

I got out of that relationship roughly three seconds later, out of consciousness four seconds later, and out of the body cast two months after that.

When I next got the chance to think about Girlfriend Getaways, after months of learning to love – and walk – again, I thought that it sounded like a great idea.  You know why?  Because most people aren't that interesting, and about six months into a relationship, you run out of stories to tell each other.  This way, she'll have new and exciting experiences to tell me about, and I'll have a weekend or more to indulge in the shamefully childish lifestyle of a single dude.  I can play video games all day, eat pizza for every meal, never shower, and she won't be around to love me any less for it.

 (Ed note:  Pistols is shy.  Or a communist.)

My first reaction, when I hear the phrase "Girlfriend Getaway" is a bunch of girls sitting around a table drinking soymilk lattes, comparing lip gloss and high heels.

When I hear girlfriend getaways...I think of a gaggle of money-blowin', wine swillin', estro-powered cougars getting themselves into trouble in some exotic locale (e.g. Olive Garden in Spokane, Washington).  The only perk of a Girfriend Getaway (a.k.a. Chick Trip) is it gets the wife out of my hair for a few days.