Nevermind that it was a "What Not To Wear" marathon, on TLC this weekend.  That's neither here nor there. 

After watching over 6 hours of the show, I am pleased to report that Clinton and Stacy have really toned down the snark, and were more about the fashion-love for the participants. 

And some of the guests?  Not so easy to work with.

I found myself yelling at the television, when one humor-free waif kept harping on a non-existent "top-heavy" issue.  She must have weighed 85 pounds, so any amount of breastage would have seemed ungainly to her.

Clinton and Stacy are faced, not only with badly-dressed participants, but women with some fairly serious body issues.  That can't be easy.

I do go slightly bananas when hairstylist, Nick Arrojo, refuses to allow anyone to keep their hair-length below their collarbone.  I have suffered through shorter cuts, and know they are less-flattering on me, so I completely identified with the woman who argued with him, to the point where he was visibly annoyed, and agreed to keep the length. He did not give her the signature hug at the end of the cut.

With the makeover portions of these shows, I have flashbacks to episodes of "America's Next Top Model", where a number of the girls looked positively hideous after the makeover.  The "experts" don't always know best. 

Like when Tyra made Jade go blonde:

Before He Cheats, again, mebbe I should get out of these jammies and put a proper outfit on.  Carrie Underwood is one of our younger subjects for "Wear-It-To-Travel Wednesday", and I can remember traveling in sweatpants when I was her age.  

Photo:  National Photo Group 

I cannot recall, however, having $9 million in album sales.  $9 million can buy you a nice, comfortable pair of jeans or pants, and a cardigan sweater.

She does have spectacular hair.  And sometimes, that will forgive many wardrobe offenses.  Sometimes.  Not now.

If she were carrying a larger bag, she could tuck most of those items inside, rather than having armloads of sweatshirt, miscellaneous blue pouch, adorable tiny pooch, etc.

And, honestly, those blue sweatpants don't even fit properly.  Carrie!  Come on!  I bought "Carnival Ride"!  If I had known you were just going to use the proceeds entirely for make-up and hair products, I may have had second thoughts (but I really do love that album).

It is important to be comfortable on your flight, yes.  But if you're going to put effort into face & hair, keep going!  Do your body the same courtesy.

Grade:

D

With Fall comes the Fall Fashion Issues of our favorite magazines.  And with these Fall Fashion Issues come a slew of new trends, some of which should have warning labels.  These are a few Fall trends that we think can be skipped...

SKIP THESE:

Open-toed boots:  The booties are somewhat more palatable, but full on open-toed boots are just odd.  You wear full-length boots to keep warm (and because they look good), and we can't get the image out of our heads of stubbing our toe in a snow bank while wearing these.  On the flip-side, though, if you recently had toe-surgery these are perfect.

Crazy plaids:  Plaid can be good, particularly if you're in Scotland, or attending private school, or just having a picnic at the winery.  Plaid can also be bad.

Full skirts: Think about this: if you are looking at the model, who is wearing the full skirt, and you're thinking "Oh good, the models are finally eating!" think again.  They are still the same size.   The full skirts are creating the illusion of a medium build.

Case in point - the stunning Jacquetta Wheeler.  From the waist down, she looks reasonably healthy.  But direct your focus to the chest area.

That is SKINNY.  My chest is nowhere near that skeletal, and I can just imagine how enormous my hips would look in this ensemble.  If you are one of the lucky slim-hipped, you can feel free to indulge in the full -skirt craze.

Pegged jeans: granted, this is not a trend approved by fashion magazines, but rather something Katie Holmes tried to initiate.  We actually like the slouchy boyfriend-jean look:

but do NOT peg the legs of the jeans.  Baaaaaad.

Fake-worn-out jeans: It is ridiculous to buy jeans like this.  If it happens naturally, fine, you've got yourself some great "paint the house" jeans.  But we saw these at Barney's.

BARNEY'S!  No, no, no, no, no.

Exaggerated print mixing: - we know, we know, everyone is trying to be trendy-quirky, and when even the fashion director at O Magazine says it's okay, it might seem like a really good idea!  No.  Pattern mixing can be done, if you keep it subtle.  But honestly, it should be more of a gut reaction - if the ensemble makes your eyes hurt, just pair the print with a solid.  It's better to be safe than scary.

Use your mirrors, girls, and incorporate new Fall trends with a modicum of common sense.